Happy Birthday
by Blazeraptor54
Summary: To my brother from another mother, Rio Skyron.


"Fuck…you…little asshole…fuck, shit!" A man was screaming before a blonde haired teen kicked in the door, "no!"

"Yes!" The blonde screams as he throws the orange haired man into the room, slamming the door shut.

The man, the poor man of the hour, was Roman Torchwick. He saw that the room was a booth of sorts, with a bulletproof window on the other side. By the looks, recently installed. Roman Torchwick was a smart man, and the hidden gun he had in his pants wouldn't do him much good here. So, he looked at the microphone in the booth.

"When my friend finds out that you got me, she'll gut you like a fish," he growls and hears a knock at the window as the lights came on. "NEO?!"

Neapolitan, or Neo, was a short girl with the hair color related to her name. She waved at the man through the glass, smiling brightly, and besides her was the blonde that had kidnapped him. He realized the blonde was Uzumaki Naruto, a famous hero of another world.

"What…the fuck?" Torchwick mumbles his question, "Neo get me out of here!"

She stuck her tongue out at him, and held up a sign, _"no bitch."_

"What the hell is happening right now," Torchwick squeezes his nose. "For fuck sakes, who paid them off?!"

No answer, only a note hanging up on the window. Roman walked over towards it, he looked at the note, skimming over it. He then growls, looking at the note and crumbling it up. He threw it against the glass window, barking at the teens behind it.

"Like hell I'm going to sing happy birthday, who the fuck is Rio Skyron?!" Roman shouts.

"You're about to know 'mister car battery' if you keep your shit up, Roman, now sing like a cannery!" Naruto yells over his microphone.

"No, hell no, why didn't you kidnap Weiss Schnee?! C'mon Neo, bust me outta here!" Roman almost begs, shouting at her.

Naruto suddenly hit his microphone button, "hey pal, listen! Rio Skyron is a friend of our client. He wants you to sing, and you'll sing! I mean seriously, what roles you think you are going to get?!"

"Well," Roman pondered that for a moment. "I thought I could come back as Grimm Roman."

"Yeah," Naruto held his fist up, "and we want Grimm Pyrrha but that shit ain't happening!"

"Oh, c'mon, who is your client. I can buy him off, we can kidnap Schnee, and get him a proper song." Roman tries to reason with them, trying to find a way out of this one.

Neo held a sign up, _"there's a reason why this rated T and is listed as a Parody…just saying."_

She then threw the sign, blinking and then growling a little, she then picked up another sign from…somewhere.

 _"_ _Wen Neo x Naruto, jerkoff?!"_ Neo faced toward robot, it only shrugged in response.

The Robot, red in color, slowly walked out of the room. Roman just stood there, looking at the glass. He sighs, looking about the room for something to break the glass. He then turned his attention to the microphone pole and grabbed it. Channeling aura through it Roman gave a war cry as he ran toward the window.

Smashing it with all that he had…which wasn't much since it didn't even crack the damned thing.

Naruto looked at Neo, "you know regarding that I heard _he_ may use one of the remakes for that."

Neo blinked, chuckling slightly as she rubbed the back of her sheepishly, she then held up a sign. _"Will there be sex in it?"_

The blonde rolls his eyes, "probably…"

The Jinchuuriki of The Hidden Village of Konoha just sighed, "and here I am in another parody. You know, hopefully, he completes Silent Moon or Screaming Sun…hell I'll take another one shot."

Roman then realized who they were talking about, "that son of a bitch hired you all?!"

"Yes/ _yes."_ Naruto and Neo reply with a small shameless smile.

Naruto then looked at Roman, "did he screw you over yet?"

The criminal mastermind blinked, he then thought about it, "nope."

"Don't worry," Daichi entered the room. "You may end up with a somehow expert Marksman Mercury shooting a bullet into your chest."

The tall teen rubs his chest, "fucker."

"Come to think of it, Silent Moon kind of owes a lot of its content to Rio. Supposedly he and that guy talked hours on end. Even True Instinct is a product of their shared mind," Daichi further speaks. "Though…I would've loved a better send off."

Suddenly the door opens, revealing Weiss Schnee of all people, "I want to form a union against that man. I mean, really, I had been promised a sequel for nearly two years now."

"When does he ever finish a story, he deleted half of them…" Naruto reasoned with her, "at this point, I think people stick with him hoping he finishes SOMETHING."

Weiss then realized something, "I'm in a goddamn Parody, am I?"

"And the snowflake gets it," Blake was sitting in the very back. "Hey, Weiss."

"Wait, when have you been here?!" Daichi yells, seeing that Blake was sitting beside where Naruto was standing.

"Because she's a ninja, and ninjas are awesome." Naruto praises Blake and they both fist bump casually without looking at one another.

"OKAY BACK TO THE POINT!" Roman screams as he looked at them all, "I'm not singing this song."

Naruto looked at Roman, he then looked at everyone else, and then back to the orange haired criminal. He smirked, snapping his fingers he then appeared in the room with a flash. Roman looked at him and stepped backward.

"W-what, but you can't use semblances as a normal character!" He shouts, scared out of his mind.

The blonde laughs, "you're right, when I'm in a parody I don't have a silly semblance. No, I have something that I got as an adult…check your right shoulder."

Roman's eyes widened when he saw the mark, "that Jutsu."

"Flying Thunder God," Naruto crosses his arms before snapping his fingers casually.

The car battery appeared in the room, "now, we're going to get something straight."

"You're going to sing the damn song, you're going to sing as if your life _literal_ depended on it." Naruto glares right into Roman's eyes, "clear?"

Roman growls, "crystal…"

Naruto flashes out, back into his seat by Blake, "do you know when Perfect Time will be updated?"

She shrugs, flipping through her book, "whenever he gets his head out of his ass."

"Speaking of Perfect Time," Daichi spoke up. "Apparently Rio Skyron helped with that as well."

"Man," Naruto rubs his chin. "Rio must be a true pal."

"He is," Daichi then brought up VB's page, "they actually discuss a lot of about their writings."

"Wow…so Screaming Sun, Perfect Time, Dearest, Son Of The Demoness, and even a lot of his newer stories that haven't been updated yet are just products of a back and forth with Rio." Blake looked at the page, "how'd you get this."

"I had Shikamaru hack," Daichi replied with a smile. "Turns out in the soon to be deleted A Brave New World…he's a computer whiz."

"That makes sense, considering how smart he is." Weiss admitted and then noticed something, "why isn't Roman singing?"

Naruto took notice as well, the man just standing at the microphone with arms crossed and his right foot tapping against the concrete.

"You all done, good." Roman coughed into his hand, not noticing a window forming behind him.

Music started playing, a remix of "Happy Birthday To You."

Roman began to sing, "Its your birthday, its your birthday, happy birthday."

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. From your favorite character that you hope is in a bromance with a blonde shorty in the next room, happy birthday to you!" Roman watches as Naruto flips him the bird, growling as he continued to sing.

Smirking, Roman began to sing a little bit more, "I wish you a happy birthday, maybe your favorite mint haired girl will get her story updated someday!"

"Oh, happy birthday, oh happy birthday!" Roman cheerfully started to sing, noting that he could insult characters as he goes.

"Maybe if the author of this short had some balls Little Red maybe dead in a story, so we can get some plot. Happy birthday, happy birthday!" Roman claps his hands together, "happy birthday!"

"You stay on your phones all day long, discuss on a crossover that may not even come along, Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!" He began to direct his insult…to more personal matters.

He claps his hands faster, "and maybe Rio Skyron can see this short, and realize that I really mean it when he's my friend and wish him a happy birthday!"

"Happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday!" Roman began to do jazz hands, which made everyone roll their eyes.

The master criminal then laughs, "but if there is a thing, we can all agree on, is that Cinder needs to be gone. Rio lost his mind when she survived, and here we go again, bad things come in threes. Happy birthday, happy birthday!"

"But for real, this is the end of my son, and I'm getting really tired. So, let me sing one line, of Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday! Oh, Happy Birthday, Oh Happy Birthday, you're one more year older than you were!" Roman then ended it with a shout.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIO SKYRON!" Roman dropped to his knees as he screamed, it wasn't out of passion, but more out of just trying to piss off everyone else in the room.

Naruto sighs then looked at a newcomer…Salem.

"So, what was this?" Salem inquires as she looked at Roman, "a parody."

"Yeah," Naruto looked at her. "Say, when you get the time Kurama would like to meet you."

"Oh?" Salem looks at Naruto, "what could that fox possibly want?"

"A vixen," Naruto answered truthfully only for him to wince at Kurama's yelling.

Roman then looked at the motley crew of parody characters, "am I done here or are we going to start having obligatory big titty anime girls start dancing around?!"

Salem took offense to that, snapping her fingers, "of course we're done here…"

Suddenly the window behind Roman smashes open, revealing a giant hawk-like Grimm with a long tongue that grabbed him. He struggled before looking at Naruto, pleading with his eyes full of fear.

Naruto was filing his nails, then rolled his eyes, "I ain't no helicopter friend, sink or swim."

"You're an asshole, Uzumaki!" Roman screams before being dragged out of the window.

Naruto then sighs, "well I guess this is the end of the parody. Kind of sad really, it didn't really seem like much. I bet you he won't cut me off mid sente…"

The world went black.

* * *

 ** _Nah for real though, I know this is kind of a pathetic little one shot. However, I want to take the time thank Rio Skyron. His birthday is today, and he's an awesome friend. And, yes, this parody holds some truth to it._**

 ** _A lot of my OC villains, and characters have come from discussions with him. Lapis and Amira for one are among our shared creations, and we've agreed to do a crossover in the future between our stories. Though, frankly, I'm not sure when it'll happen._**

 ** _However, out of my 1324 followers for myself, I want some of you to please go and review and follow some of Rio's work. He does put a lot of effort into it, and people will often trash the quality of something without actually taking the account of the effort._**

 ** _Some people aren't born natural writers, but Rio, Rio is a storyteller if there ever was one._**

 ** _He takes the unique approach, always seeking a way to take a step no one else seems to take. His stories are HEAVY AU, but that's because they're unique. And, isn't that what FANFICTION is all about? Creating an AU where someone you like doesn't die, and where your favorite characters can crossover and such._**

 ** _Some people just take way too much time to critic someone else, and don't take the story for what it is, a fun time._**

 ** _So, to my best buddy, Rio Skyron._**

 ** _I want to say it from the bottom of my heart, my friend._**

 ** _Happy Birthday to you, and may your life be happy and full of warmth._**

 ** _And, if you think you're not doing your part…remember._**

 ** _Silent Moon.  
Screaming Sun.  
A Family.  
Adrift.  
Perfect Time._**

 ** _Wouldn't be possible without your help with keeping me inspired, and its that very reason why I continue writing._**

 ** _This parody wasn't written to be great in writing quality, it was made as a cheeky little thank you my friend on here._**

 ** _With much brotherly love._**

 ** _-Blazeraptor54/Chris._**

 ** _P.S Happy Birthday buddy…go out and enjoy it!"_**


End file.
